Pup likes to sit at the table with us when we eat. If she isn’t sat with us she will usually whine or bark for our attention or put her paws up on our legs. Anything that will get our attention. So as a trainer, why aren't I doing anything about it?
First, here’s WHY I think this behaviour is happening.
Eating at the table is only a recent thing for us. We moved into our home about 6 months ago, and this is the first home we’ve had where we have been fortunate enough to have space for a table. So for the last 10ish years of Pup’s life before the move we have sat on the sofa to eat, with her by our side.
We never minded her sitting with us because she never tried to steal from our plates and we enjoyed sharing our space with her.
But now we eat at the table. And here’s why I think this has become an issue for Pup:
1. This is a big change to the routine. A routine she’d been accustomed to for 10 years.
2. Her tiny size means she becomes excluded from all the goings on when we sit high up at the table.
As social beings, just like us, I think many dogs just want to feel included with goings on in the home. For me, it feels important to eat dinner together with my partner. I might become frustrated or sad if after 10 years together, he chose to start taking his meal into the other room and eating without me.
So when Pup started showing attention seeking behaviours when we started to eat at a table, I could easily have thought how annoying or inappropriate it was.
But instead, I considered her experience of what was going on, and took this into account when I thought how best to address it.
I could have decided to train her not to do it. I could have taught her to go to a mat when we eat. Spent time building her value for the mat. Increasing the duration of time she can stay on it until we could eat a whole meal while she left us in peace.
If we didn’t appreciate the dog stare (you know the one) while eating, this might have been a valid option.
However, for us, it’s a welcome opportunity to spend quality time appreciating her beauty, so it’s never been an issue. So instead, we pulled up a chair and invited her to join us. Problem solved. No more whining and barking.
There are many people that would not appreciate a dog at their table, and that's fine. There’s also many dogs that wouldn’t want to sit at a table, or wouldn’t be able to resist temptation if they did. But for us, this simple solution works very well.
However, there will also be lots of people out there that will also say things like, 'you should not tolerate attention seeking behaviours because your dog is trying to control you', without considering any further WHY they are happening in the first place.
Or they might make a blanket statement of 'you shouldn't let your dog sit on the sofa or at the table when you're eating because (insert outdated piece of advice here)'.
There is no one right way to live with your dog.
A dog’s behaviour is only a problem if it's a problem for you, or your dog. If you’re both happy, don’t let someone else tell you it’s wrong.
(PS. Despite what the picture might suggest, she does get her dinner before we eat ours, otherwise inviting her to watch us eat would feel like sadistic torture)
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